Bullfighting with Life December 28, 2015 – Posted in: Blog, Inspiration – Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

People tend to say: “I’ve changed” or “I want to change” but this isn’t a real desire or a truth, but merely something they need others to see, even though it’s not there. The way we think and the way we look at the world, and the way we look at ourselves, are the same. And the reason why we may need therapy, is because we can’t see these things in ourselves and, like a rat in a wheel, keep running without leaving the same place.

Most insane behaviors come from a dual perception of the world. A duality that we insist that can’t be understood. For such individuals, everything is black and white. They associate money with security and lack of money with insecurity, money with hard work and laziness with poverty, joy with success and suffering with failure.

This type of thinking is what leads to competition, racism, shame, anger, regret and resentment. And if we insist in emanating the same emotions, then we’re creating a karma, which is under our subconscious control. Not unconscious, but controlled by our belief-system. It’s a karma we insist in creating.

Such individuals also think that the past is different from the future, which matches the person that thinks: If others make more, then I will make less. A mindset that leads to a focus on the other, instead of ourselves, our need to improve as a human being, to be more rational and effective in life.

People that have this state of mind, have to necessarily be in the situation they are. When I ask them about their Mercedes or Lamborghini, or other measures of their success in life, they either start to cry, attacking me, or excusing themselves with other scenarios, like individuals that they believe to have the answer for the reason behind this outcome. This is how they feel and how they justify the situation.

The problem with the confrontation of a dual mind, is that it always thinks in black and white, defense and attack, me and them, right and wrong, correct and false. So, the dual mind thinks: “If he is correct, then I must be stupid” and if “I’m correct, he is stupid”; and that’s why they can’t get answers from others. It’s a self-fulfilling mechanism that isolates the one repeating the mistakes.

Here are some common beliefs I encounter all the time:
I am smart and poor, and he is rich and smart, so I must prove him stupid in order to justify why I’m poor and smart;
I work hard and I’m poor, and he is rich and doesn’t work hard, or does he? He is probably doing something illegal to get more results than me.
I’m a great person and nobody loves me, so people are selfish and I’m a victim of fate.

This type of thinking leads to something called tribalism, in which we easily accept what people like us say, but refuse what someone outside our tribe thinks. So, a poor person will always accept ideas about money coming from another poor person, but reject the ideas of a rich person.

I was recently attacked by a group of people when trying to explain to them what the many billionaires I know think about money. They hated me for showing them that. And yet, those answers could lead them to a better life. They had to prove me wrong, and spent the whole time building resentful excuses related to proving me wrong. But what can they learn by proving me wrong? Nothing! They can try to change me, to feel better with themselves, and that’s what we do, we convert others to our religion, we force them to accept our tribe, or depart from it. And that’s what I was forced to do, to leave this tribe and never see them again.

What could I say about single women? They always assume that the problem isn’t in them, but men. Isn’t that interesting? They always think men choose the wrong women. And yet, the more I talk to single women with this type of mindset, the more I conclude that the men leaving them did the right thing. It’s only sad that they can’t see the problem in themselves and insist in believing that men have the problem. It’s actually worse when their friends reinforce the situation with their own beliefs, because, ironically, a married woman always feels that she has the answer for single women, even after being divorced.

Another thing people with problems do a lot is delay solving them. They think more money, more friends or a good relationship will solve everything. They disregard that the problem is psychological, not physical. They also disregard that such approach will never happen, because as soon as they prove themselves correct, even if for a short moment, then they have no reason to change anymore. And here we go again, the rat in the rat wheel, running faster without leaving the same place, and repeating “my life is a mess”.

Most people can’t change and never will, despite the repetition of a “I’ve changed”. When a person does one thing wrong, it’s a mistake, when that person repeats that mistake, it’s an intention, and when that person repeats an intention, but doesn’t like the outcome, it’s a disease.

If you want something or a person but you repel it, you have a disease. A person with the same unconscious level as yours, will make you feel better about yourself, and that’s how people usually choose friends. They don’t want to be judged, so they select those that can’t see the same. It’s an instinctual social reaction that perpetuates itself in time, until we have a big group of people like us, making us feel good for being who we are. And then we hear: “I have many friends” as if it was something good, which is not. If you keep changing, really changing, and improving yourself, you will always lose friends. Because it’s not normal for most people to change and that’s why they can’t accept when someone does it. That person is compromising “the tribe”.

The ability to accept life as it is, is related to responsibility, not passivity. Accepting means not seeing yourself as a victim, but as someone that has chosen a certain fate. It’s not good to suppress anger, but why do we suppress it? Because it matches how we think. Belief -> Actions -> Results -> Emotions -> Suppressing -> Belief -> Actions… it’s a wheel perpetuating itself.

When you visit any therapist, if he’s good, will always observe the same thing: this wheel and why it exists. But most people have learned to love it so much, that they don’t want to let it go, and that’s why they will never seek any help. They love this wheel, they love their karma. This is who they are, because this is who they want to be.

It may seem that most people regret the life they have and their mistakes, but they actually don’t. They may feel sad and actually love it. Think about it! Who said and did the things you said and did? And how did you felt when you said and did them? You felt powerful, strong, and real.

When you call another person poor, weak or stupid, it makes you feel richer, stronger and smarter;
When you call another man black, it makes you feel part of the “superior race”;
When you ask if your friend cheats in something, it makes you feel better as a cheater yourself.

This is the world where you live. Then you can’t forgive yourself and you feel sad? I don’t think so. If this wheel goes around, it goes back to the same point: Sadness -> Forgiveness -> Regret. In other words, you actually regret doing things that led to sadness, but you don’t really regret doing them. It’s a pathology but you can’t see it.

Most books and religions showing solutions to psychological pathologies point in the same direction: be still, accept, don’t fight back,… But you can’t do something that you don’t understand. It is like pretending you’re not who you say you are. If you want to fight back but you don’t, it’s called suppressing.

My martial arts students always asked me what is the best self-defense technique. Answer: not needing one. They couldn’t understand but here’s my point: You can learn one thousand techniques and always feel that you need a better one, if you live in a very violent environment. However, if you move to a new city, or country, much safer than the previous, you stop needing any. The problem is only a problem when the problem exists, but, as long as the problem exists, we will always need solutions. The solutions only vanish when they’re not needed anymore, because they can’t match any reasonable problem.

The only reason you have to accept things and not fighting back is to give yourself a chance to observe them. When I started observing why I was being bullied at school, I decided to practice martial arts, and then change to more violent martial arts. I conquered 3 black belts. Eventually, I had to observe that bullying is a mindset, not part of a defense system. Even though almost everyone stopped beating me, there was always one that was bigger and stronger, and willing to go for it. Then, the bullying manifested in workplaces, through mockery and gossip. And most of the bullying I faced in latest years came by women, not men. That is, people I didn’t want to fight with. But bullying that doesn’t stop with vicious words, and is willing to come at me psychologically, is a social disease. The physical bullying that we witness or face at school is only one of the many forms this social disease has to manifest. In fact, we wouldn’t need layers, judges, laws against harassment and racism, police, security guards, fences and prisons, if bullying wasn’t a constant of our society and everywhere.

My observation today is that bullies are very sick people. And I also know that I will always be a target of bullies. Observation led me to see that it’s not a martial arts issue. It’s just that bullies hate successful people, and even more when they are popular and successful. That’s why we have magazines and news in which celebrities are constantly being bullied by the media. People love it. So, I know that I can’t escape bullying, even as an adult. There will always be people that hate me, and being a rich and famous writer or musician is just a better excuse to hate someone. Even my family hates me and bullies me with gossip and rumors. I often want to punch many of them and slap others but they won’t stop being who they are if I do that. And I can accept such fact, although I can’t accept them.

I think democracy has reached its limit. Applying the law has become a real job for millions of layers, judges and police officers around the world, because insanity is still a constant of our reality. And unfortunately, for many politicians, this insanity, justifies having armies, bombs of massive destruction and shooting people in the face.

Those that think you can solve everything with positive thinking, should be shot in the head, as they are insane enought not to admit that a thought can’t stop a bullet, and a bullet can’t be stopped without facing the intention behind it. Despite the amount of people in the world that don’t have guns and the many psychiatric hospitals and laws that keep being approved, we still live in a very extremely insane planet, and thinking positive about it is both ridiculous and very immature.

Furthermore, I do wonder about the purpose of writing all this. Because, whoever you are, if you’re reading, you can’t be that much insane. An insane person would never read this text, and much less agree with it. And that’s why I know I’m writing for a very small minority. If I count the number of people that read this text and share it with others, I can actually use my fingers: That’s between one and 4 among 7 billion. And I don’t want to seem pessimistic, but these numbers are far worse than the ones shown in the bible. Imagine if God could only save 4 persons among 7 billion! It makes the story of Noa’s ark seem more realistic now, isn’t it? The biblical truth perpetuates itself, as the numbers still show us that only a hand full of people are worth to be part of humanity.

At the end, most people can only listen to what their tribe says. Most people are tribalistic, dual, and short-minded. Like a bull in a bullfight, they always chase the red and think the problem is in the red.

Nevertheless, do you know why this text is so good and why I know it’s good? Because I’m the type of person that can travel from China to India just to get my hands in 3 specific books, as I have done recently. How many people in the entire world do you know that will travel from one country to another to buy books? Most people have a smartphone in their pocket every day, and the only thing they can do is watch funny cats and funny dogs. They have a huge library of pdfs, many of them free or cheaper than a coffee, and they won’t read.

When I talk like this, many call me arrogant, others call me lucky or a genius. In each of these three answers, you find the same premise, which is ignorance, a form of ignorance led by irresponsibility. And the prove to what I’m saying isn’t difficult to justify itself. You see, the reason why people either hate me or think I’m special is because they can’t think about the fact that I’m willing to do things that they never will to improve myself, improve my life and write things in the level that this text presents. And how do I know this? Simple! When I couldn’t keep these three books anymore and had to give them away, to keep a 20kg maximum airplane traveling bag with me, nobody wanted them. I first tried to sell for one dollar and couldn’t find anyone interested. Then, I decided to give the books away for free. I though it’s better to leave them with someone that will read than put them in the trash, and again, nobody wanted them. I put ads online, contacted several second handed bookstores, and the books were always refused. Nobody wanted to read them and nobody wanted them. They said the content was old and too specific. So, is it a surprise when we hear the story of so many ancient writings that were destroyed and lost for eternity by the ignorance of men? One of these books I was offering had the complete collection of the Vedas translated to English.

It’s very easy to call me arrogant or genius while disregarding the obvious fact that most people are incredibly stupid. And is this being negative? No, it’s not. When I call people stupid, I’m being realistic. You can’t fight terrorism with candies and you can’t fight ignorance with compassion. God Himself decided it was better to just kill the idiots, and he did it often, not just once. So, who am I to judge what He did? The vast majority of humanity isn’t worth this title. Animals can often show more reasoning than humans. But here we are, with access to everything, and in absolute darkness, immersed in complete ignorance. An ignorance that we desperately ask others to tell us that it’s not there. That’s what people do when they go to their facebook account or church. They want to believe that everything is ok. And well, I have to tell you that it’s not: You are going to die in less than 100 years, and very likely much sooner than that, and your legacy on this planet is going to be a total crap. Thanks to you, many people will continue to ignore reading, learning and improving. Because, if you don’t do this with yourself, why would others? It’s easier to just be happy and have friends, a tribe, and that’s basically how humanity kills itself from within.

Now, if you were a God, what would you think about this? The answer is quite obvious. What do you think about your computer when it’s malfunctioning and repeating the same problems? You know it’s time to trash it and buy a new one. And well, if you refuse to improve, then that’s what you’re saying about yourself, that you’re just trash waiting to be sent to the human dumpster called graveyard.

Is this a negative way of speaking or thinking? Ask yourself if you feel compassion for your diseases or instead try to make them vanish and you’ll have the answer to this question.

The question you should be asking is: Why are you or anyone compassionate and tolerant with ignorance? Why do you put people that learn inside a box and look at them as if belonging to a different tribe? Why do you think you’re not stupid and a waste of God’s time?

Most people want to hear that they are important while they aren’t. If you’re not doing anything important, you are not important. Anything else you may encounter from life, and whatever name you want to call it, is merely a consequence of your lack of importance.

Are people that want to commit suicide important? If everyone tells them they’re not, why should they feel important? You see, the problem isn’t in the suicidal individual, as he is merely taking a social tendency to the extreme. The problem exists already in a suicidal society, that insists is measuring personal importance through tribalism and ignoring its own ignorance, often promoted the most by the hands of those that we assume to be less ignorant than the rest. Arrogance is ignorance best friend. The stupid is always attached to his ego, his social mask because he doesn’t want to be told that he is stupid. He doesn’t want to be told that he has a very serious disease contaminating the whole world. And unfortunately, this disease is so widespread now, that it’s as if we lived in a planet contaminated with zombies, a world of living idiots, where life isn’t really important, just something that exists.

I’m often asked why I talk or write so much. Here’s my answer: What does a stupid has to say? What should I tell people approaching me and saying “I want to write a book”? Do they have anything to write about? And should I listen to people that should be listening to me? Am I arrogant for acknowledging the obvious and refusing to listen to the stupid?

Democracy isn’t a birth right. Democracy is something you earn. Stupid people have no rights. I don’t care what position they occupy in society or what they’ve studied. They never had rights and never will. Any rigth they possess is a crime against humanity. To be poor, sick and stupid, isn’t a unfortunate fate, but a necessary process of evolution. God doesn’t like the stupid. There’s nothing wrong with God. The problem is in the people that think the stupid deserve compassion.

Don’t interpret me wrongly! There is no problem with poverty, stupidity or sickness. These are just red colours for mad bulls. The problem is in the bull mentality, assuming that the problem is in the red. I’ve met many, and despite what I say, they always think their problem is the red. It’s as if seeing so many rights and wrongs written in red ink in exam papers made people insane about this pattern and color for all eterninity.

Stupidity isn’t a state of mind, but a choice, a choice many assume not to have while putting it to use every day. When you hear people that are smarter than you talking, when you listen to seminars on youtube instead of watching funny cats, and when you go to your local library to learn something, whatever it is, instead of watching a movie, you are moving one step forward out of your comfortable stupid zone and state of mind. The rest is merely related to what you can learn, namely, about health, life and money.

I often hear: “I don’t know what I should write about if everything has been written”. But, well, my friend, if you believe everything has been written, then you know little and should be reading what has been written. Because, I have written nearly 400 books, never stop reading, and I’m very sure there’s really a lot to be said, studied, researched, analyzed and exposed.

I heard my father said during all his life: “I never had a chance to learn more in school”. My father is now 63 years old, and never ever entered one library in his entire life. He thinks the problem with him is that “red”, and lived an entire life like a mad bull, always angry, frustrated and pushing people away from him.

I encounter so many idiots all the time, that it doesn’t surprise me anymore when people stare at me because I’m reading a book in a public place for over 3 hours. It’s almost as if I was doing something occult, very strange to the masses. Oh, that strange thing, of reading a book and loving it. Many can love a cake, or a great movie, but how many really love a good book? For me, movies are becoming so predictable and mainstream that I now love more reading books than watching movies. And how strange it seems to many, when I tell them I never watch tv.

People do reflect little on their ignornance, and that’s what makes them ignorant. The rest is just a consequence of the same. I’m not smarter or brighter, I’m just normal. However, this world is becoming seriously abnormal for me, and I see a grave danger is allowing it to persist. There’s a very thin like between insanity and stupidity. What do insane and stupid people do? Think about it, and it quickly becomes obvious. Anything wrong with this world can be attributed to a combination of these two elements, even though the stupid always becomes insane but the other isn’t necessarily stupid.

Mark Brightlife

Author of “Overcoming Depression”

Overcoming Depression