Expectations in Art and Love December 29, 2015 – Posted in: Blog, Inspiration – Tags: , , , , , , ,

When in love, Spanish use the word “Te Quiero” (I want you), and it’s true that they are extremely dependent, Spanish couples are always together and doing things together. If they have a son, they’re always with their kid. This happens even with young people. So, I do notice that the “I want you” in them is really to want it. In other words, they put their ego completely into it. They accept that what they have is part of their ego, and, I must say, from a feminine point of view, this makes Spanish men probably the most suitable for most women;

Their neighbours, the Portuguese, don’t have a word for love. Brazilians do, and some Portuguese copied the concept, but historically speaking, they don’t really have it. Portuguese may say “I’m in love” (“Estou apaixonado/a”) or “I like you” (“Gosto de ti”) but to say “amo-te” (adaption from Brazilian “te amo”) doesn’t really sound normal. In fact, men never say “I like you” to another man in Portugal because it sounds gay. But if a woman says it, men can’t really tell if she likes as a friend or a lover, as there’s this double meaning into it.

As for saying “estou apaixonado” it can really mean many things too, as the person may be married and in love with someone else, or in love with some type of activity. Women in Portugal often say “He married me but he’s real passion if football” which uses the word “paixão”, from “estou apaixonado”.

Nevertheless, wherever we find ourselves culturally, basic ideas, concepts and expectations remain. You cannot really empty anything within the human perception. People that assume that haven’t read and studied enough about spirituality.

Emptiness can be associated with a state of mind of focus, in which you don’t let your thoughts interfere with your observations. Good examples of this activity are drawing, composing or writing. You can’t draw/write/compose while thinking at the same time. Whatever thoughts you have during such moments are also related to the intention, and tend to disappear as you persist in the activity. And this is the meaning associated with love. To love is to look at that person as he or she is, without wanting them to be what we want.

We can’t really empty our ideas, concepts and expectations, but we can understand them at the light of our observations. For example, I expect the person with me to be faithful, honest, cooperative, helpful,… and many other concepts that can be taken from the way I write, and which reflect my observations. And these concepts aren’t personal ideas I should empty, because they can be clearly defined by dictionaries.

There is no misinterpretation or assumption in the use of the concepts. The observations are clear, as clear as if I was “painting my own future”. If the painting is ugly, if the music doesn’t sound good, then I’m not going to pretend it could.

We come to life with colors and sounds. Each person has its own amount of colours and sounds. But it really depends on each one what to do with it. I used to be very good at creating music, even using horrible sounds and a very bad computer. And I also met people that had everything, and couldn’t create anything good with it. So, it’s obvious that our difficulties don’t define who we are. It’s what we do with what we have that does. The sky only has 2 colours, blue and white, and it’s beautiful. The sun only has three, yellow, orange and red, and it’s beautiful too, especially during sunset. But we do expect the sky to be blue and the sun to be, at least, orange, and that’s why we can’t say that the horrible toxic sky in Shanghai is beautiful or that we shouldn’t have expectations when visiting a river to see the fish alive. Expectations are realistic. It’s how we exist and how we build our happiness.

Daniel Marques

Author of “The Science of the Soul”

A Ciencia da Alma_EN