To Kill or Not to Kill January 16, 2016 – Posted in: Blog, Inspiration – Tags: , , , , ,

Being polite to others never helped anyone becoming successful. I never feel the need to apologize how I affect those that don’t seem to be conscious of how they affect me. That’s why I called a student stupid in one of my classes. If she said I don’t know what I’m doing and waste her time, should I give a better answer? Stupid affirmations deserve stupid answers. As a teacher, I should reply something else, but before being a teacher, I’m a person. And being who I am, I do shift radically from one pole to the other. On the other hand, who are the most polite teachers? The ones I met were always afraid to lose their job. So, indeed, politeness tends to be a selfish behavior related to survival, not empathy. However, when being polite diminishes your survival, rudeness is the option. Nobody ever survived in the jungle by trying to argue politeness with a tiger.
[bctt tweet=”‘Nobody ever survived in the jungle by trying to argue politeness with a tiger’ -Dan Marques”]
If you attract a problem that remains a problem after acting on it, then you’re not solving it, and fighting, either you win or lose, is always a loss. So, indeed, the one that fights lost already. Just as the one that needs to explain himself can’t ever explain enough. However, under some circumstances, you may not have a choice. And we often do things when we don’t have other choices available. That’s why the “right to avoid something” isn’t separated from being conscious of the opportunities to avoid it.
[bctt tweet=”‘The one that needs to explain himself can’t ever explain enough’ -Dan Marques”]
Let’s consider two men with the same background, being one of them me, and the other one of my cousins. We were both bullied at school, but his father transferred him to a private college and paid for his son to be protected while studying. And my parents? They said I deserve to be bullied because that’s how life works. So, not being strong, and not having a way to escape it, I had to think smarter. That implied lying about going to swimming classes and use that money to practice kickboxing. Then, when those same bullies came to me, I did avoid the fight. I wasn’t the one looking for them. I just stand my ground. When they came, I surprised them. And they couldn’t handle that surprise, so I had to escalate it. But this isn’t just my life. The internet is full of videos of people shot to death because they wouldn’t stop. I even saw videos in which someone is trying to rob a house and the owner shouts “I have a gun and I will shoot you”. Does the robber quit? No! He breaks in. So the owner shoots him to death.
I was never and I’m still not a violent person, but if someone attacks me, I am conscious that I can break his nose, his neck and kill him. That’s why I avoid fights as much as possible. This doesn’t change the fact that you have crazy people in the world that are willing to die. That’s why you have police and armies, that’s why rich and famous individuals always have security guards around them, that’s why governments invest billions to create atom bombs that can destroy a whole country with the push of a button. Are the politicians insane? Maybe, but they are also very conscious of the insanity that rules the world.
When I was famous with DJing, I started getting death threats. Why? I have no idea. Some people are simply insane. That’s why some singers get shot. But that forced me to pay security guards. And I didn’t like the feeling of always being afraid. I can protect myself, but people that make threats never attack you in your face. They will throw a bottle at you, or shoot you from far, or stab you in the dark. And they will also likely motivate someone else that is crazy enough to do it for them. That’s what I also realized. So, I decided that it wasn’t worth, even the money I got wasn’t worth and, therefore, I quitted everything.
I quitted doing something I loved, to respect my own integrity and avoid problems. I did went to the police but the police doesn not give a shit. They said to me they have murders to investigate. In other words, my problem wasn’t a problem until someone was dead. The police doesn’t really exist to protect citizens. That’s another lie. And that’s why so many people buy weapons. Why so many people want to have a concealed weapon with them? Think about it!
When I was teaching martial arts, I always told my students to avoid fights, because when you enter one, you need to be ready to kill someone. The one that attacks you won’t stop, unless you break his arm or neck. I have been in many difficult situations in which the person just wouldn’t stop. That’s the real world. That’s why when violence escalates I have to position myself at the same level. Apologizing or being afraid won’t solve the problem.
If you’re a woman and someone tries to rape you, you have to put the fingers in his eyes and throat, and elbow his jaw and face. If you kill him by violently attacking the throat, then, it’s a necessary consequence of the need to protect yourself. This said, the only thing you can really do is avoid being in such a situation and you do that with probabilities. You diminish them. But, if you’re famous or making many people angry, then, you are attracting problems, and it’s quite hard to avoid it if you’re an artist or politician. As a woman, the fear of rape is basically a lifetime problem.
Violence is a lifetime problem. Society merely makes you think that it isn’t. It always was and always has been, even though I can’t say it always will be.
[bctt tweet=”‘Violence is a lifetime problem. Society merely makes you think that it isn’t’ -Dan Marques”]

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Daniel Marques

Author of “The Art of Judging”

The Art of Judging